Tara Reid Apparently Went Commando
By | July 31, 2010
Here’s Tara Reid drunk off her ass with ex-fiance Michael Axtmann in Saint Tropez last night where she gave everyone a glimpse of whatever the hell this is supposed to be. Considering she’s been mangled by years of bargain plastic surgery I’m just amazed it doesn’t look like Mickey Rourke’s face down there, so this Read More …
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Lindsay Lohan Keeps Grave Rolling Marilyn Monroe
By | July 30, 2010
The Lohan family regularly uses a Slap Chop to dice their rocks and have been known to use a ShamWow to wipe the fake tan grease off of Nana Lohan’s cheek when they kiss her, so it sort of makes sense that Lindsay Lohan would be friends with hooker beater ShamWow Vince and shoot a cameo in his shitematic masterpiece. What doesn’t make a snort of sense is that LiLo continues to fuck with Marilyn Monroe by dressing up as her any chance she gets. What has MM done to LL to deserve this?! Marilyn Monroe is about to roll her coffin all the way to Larry H. Parker’s office to file a copyright infringement lawsuit against LiLo. Jeanne Carmen is lowering her rose-tinted shades and looking down on all of this!
Before LiLo turned herself into the clink, she played a SCRAM-wearing Marilyn Monroe-alike who shoots off the hand that feeds her whiskey in ShamWow Vince’s Underground Comedy Movie 2010. That mess is basically a redo of Vince’s Underground Comedy 1999 which starred Joey Buttafuoco. Below is a trailer which features supermodels shitting, pigs licking peen and LiLo!
I really hope Debbie Allen comes back to choreograph the Oscars next year, because I’d really love to see her dance interpretation of Underground Comedy Movie 2010 since it will obviously receive a nomination in every category. Trust this.
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Halle Berry in a Bikini
By | July 30, 2010
“Have you seen the guy who writes The Superficial? Balls like the face of Jesus. You just want to lay your head on them. That’s how big and fluffy yet masculinely firm they are. Eyes up here.”
(Was that close? I suck at reading lips.)
Photos: Pacific Coast News
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Paris Hilton is Swimsuity and Other News
By | July 30, 2010
- Angelina Jolie looks too thin to be kicking ass in Salt.
- The Speidi Divorce put in razor-sharp context.
- Katie Holmes forgot to change after role-playing with Tom. “I’m still dressed like Steve the sexually awkward baker aren’t I? Dammit!”
- Carrie Underwood actually made it move for the first time ever. Read More …
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Snooki Got Arrested
By | July 30, 2010
What you’re witnessing here is a drunk as all hell Snooki getting arrested in Seaside Heights, N.J. today while filming an episode of Jersey Shore. TMZ says she was picked up for disorderly conduct, but based on these photos of her buying a beer bong, I’m going to assume someone called in an eight-year-old boy Read More …
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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
By | July 30, 2010
Despite what the tabloids and glossy mags say, this very famous show business couple is not really pregnant. She had her tubes tied a long time ago. For the next few months, though, her fake, special-effects pregnant stomach made of silicone will slowly grow in size until she “gives birth” to an adopted baby. Since her other child/ren didn’t resemble her, no one will question that fact that this one won’t, either. You’ll get a close-up of the scientifically-made miracle child on the front cover of a magazine (now being negotiated for a hefty fee). (Blind Gossip)
This is ridiculous, so naturally I’ll guess Kelly Preston and John Travolta? Maybe Kelly bought her silicone bump at a discount from Nicole Kidman.
This singer is creating a stir by cheating on her man with a D List MTV star. She met him at some event and was enamored with his ‘charm.’ The two have been hooking up every chance they get and haven’t been too discreet. Hopefully we’ll get a photo soon! Not Christina Aguilera. (BuzzFoto)
Charo and Pauly D from Jersey Shore? No, Charo would never fuck down. I’ll go with Jessica Simpson and The Situation?
This almost almost former A lister on television from a very hit show who is now just a very tall C list television and movie actress got really drunk a few weeks ago and destroyed her agent’s house. Surprisingly though, even though she has not worked much, caused about $20K in damage in the house he did not drop her as a client. Could be because she is sleeping with his married boss. (CDAN)
Oh, Kristen Johnston (?) was simply doing research for her role as Patsy in the American butchery of AbFab. Yes, they already shot that shit and it got turned down by the network a while ago, but Kristen is staying in character just in case they change their minds.
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Late Afternoon Crumbs
By | July 30, 2010
We’re all going to need to go to confession after watching this illegal mess, so I’ll save you a spot in line if I get there first - OMG Blog
Stepford Katie is rolling her jeans again - Lainey Gossip
It won’t be long before Parasite Hilton is driving around Hollywood in a pink Corvette and waving at the giant billboards she bought herself - Hollywood Tuna
Jayde Nicole with a Band-Aid on her chin. Teabagging gone wrong? - Egotastic!
Good news! The world might have escaped seeing Lindsay Lohan’s snatch on the big screen. That’s probably bad news for those of you who get the tingles during horror movies - The Superficial
Well….at least Liam Neeson is looking good - Popoholic
Tara Reid really is the master at looking as shitfaced as possible (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
Jennifer Aniston on Jay Leno acting like she hasn’t spent many a night researching making a baby via turkey baster - Celebitchy
Ken Paves and Billy Ray Cyrus kissing on the cover of a Spider-Man comic - Towleroad
Ann Margaret is perfection - ICYDK
Michael C. Hall just because - Popsugar
Piers Morgan is probably replacing Larry King. I hope his ass looks good in suspenders - Just Jared
Nicole Richie or Klingon? - Cityrag
Tom Jones is not passing the peen around like he used to - Hollywood Rag
Marky Mark got a star - Popbytes
Lindsay Lohan is headed to the beach…for rehab - I’m Not Obsessed
Chris Brown has a funny way of spelling FAIL - Crunk + Disorderly
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FREE SNOOK (I Don't Mean That)
By | July 30, 2010
That HOT SHOWER sign is really make this picture for me. Anyways, this beautiful photo taken today shows the Pickler Gobbler of Jersey Shore WAAAAAAAAHing away as a police officer drags her ass to jail. TMZ says that Snooki was arrested for disorderly conduct while shooting scenes for the third season of Jersey Shore in Seaside Heights, NJ.
It’s not known what kind of disorderly conduct Snooki was busted for, but I don’t think the police really need to be specific. I mean, it’s Snooki! Bitch is a stumbling disorderly conduct. Hopefully, once Snooki is booked, she is taken down to the ASPCA for the works!
And this is probably just Snooki’s way of getting Obama to finally admit he knows who she is.
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